Juliet Stevenson: ‘Alan Rickman was never easy - but brilliant people never are’

Juliet Stevenson CBE was nominated for a Bafta for her leading role in Truly Madly Deeply with Alan Rickman in 1990. Her other films include Emma, Bend it Like Beckham and Mona Lisa Smile. Nominated for an Olivier Award five times for numerous roles on stage as well as screen, she wed her partner of 29 years, the anthropologist Hugh Brody, 79, last year. The couple live in north London, and have two children together, Rosalind, 28, and Gabriel, 21.

Best childhood memory?

When I was seven, I attended an army school in Malta. Pre-tourism, it was idyllic. It was so hot in summer that school started early in the morning and finished at noon. We’d run feral down to the lido and the beach, jumping in and out of the sea looking for octopuses.

Best day of your life?

The day I met Hugh in 1993. I was 36, and I’d pretty much given up hope of finding the right person. I thought, well, I’m very lucky, I’ve got a career and wonderful friends. I’ll just be one of those people who has to make do on the romantic front. Then I went to a dinner party, and there he was. Thanks to our amazing children and my stepchildren, my life has transformed. I never thought I’d have that, and I’m still surprised 29 years later.

Best thing about your wedding?

We finally got married on December 11 2021. Largely because we didn’t want the taxman to take everything away if one of us dies, but also because I thought, OK, I’ve been in rebellion about the institution of marriage for long enough – I can calm down now and say to the world, this is my beloved, and always will be. I still think it’s ridiculous that you can live with someone for years and not have the same rights as a married person, but until the law changes, that’s the way it is. It was a joyous day. We were incredibly nervous, and very excited.

Best friend?

Alan Rickman was the most loyal and dedicated friend. He was never easy, but brilliant people never are. I met him when I was 20 and he was 30. I was like an unhatched egg and he was a leading man for the Royal Shakespeare Company, and it didn’t matter how old I got – he was always like my big brother. He’d come to every show I ever did and give me copious notes. Sometimes I’d get stroppy, but he was a superb note-giver. You learn from people who are tough with you, not from people who are kid-gloving you.

Best trip?

I waited a long time to have my last child. I was 43, and Hugh was worried we wouldn’t be able to travel and have adventures – so the first thing I did when he was born was say yes to a film job in Australia. We took Rosalind, then six, out of school, and went to Australia for four months with both her and newborn Gabriel. We travelled to the most northeastern point of the East Coast, and stayed in a tiny, remote place called Cooktown. A guide took us up the Endeavour River through the mangroves with a picnic, looking for wildlife. That day, I felt life couldn’t get any better.

Worst day of your life?

The day we lost my eldest stepson, Tomo, who was 37 when he died. I have – or had – two glorious stepsons, Tomo, and Jonah, who is 35. I think of Hugh’s children and my children as a collective of four, while not at all claiming Tomo and Jonah as mine over their wonderful mum. Tomo was an amazing documentary filmmaker. He and I connected over many things, and worked together on projects in Calais. He filmed extraordinary interviews with people living there. We wanted to get their stories out so people could better understand why they had to leave their countries. I’m so used to channelling everything into acting, however angry or full of grief I am, or however joyous or complicated life is, but it was during lockdown, so I couldn’t work. A friend suggested painting classes. Out of politeness I gave it a go over Zoom, and 10 minutes in I was hooked. I just painted all day long.

Worst thing you’ve ever seen?

One of the worst things I’ve seen is the inside of Yarl’s Wood detention centre. Women and children were locked up with no legal representation, education or outdoor space, an hour’s train ride from London. The other most appalling thing was standing in Calais seeing families and children escaping war and persecution huddled in wet tents in November, in freezing cold with no hot food, no hot running water and no electricity [Stevenson is an ambassador for Amnesty, Freedom from Torture and Together with Refugees]. We’ve had a Ukrainian mother, Dartsa, and her daughter, six-year-old Orysia, living with us since early March. Dartsa has become a really good friend. She cooks recipes from home in Kyiv and when we sit together over meals I learn about the Ukrainian way of life.

Worst thing about cancel culture?

After two years of delays, The Doctor, written and directed by Robert Icke and in which I play Ruth Wolff, will open at the Duke of York’s Theatre. It’s a play for now. It’s about cancel culture, identity politics and social media as an echo chamber – a kangaroo court that can destroy reputations. How do we live side by side with people who have very different views and identities to us? We are losing a sense of collective identity all over the place, and it’s increasingly coming to a point where freedom of speech is seriously affected. People are too frightened to speak up on certain subjects, and this is something that The Doctor, which is extremely broadminded, addresses.

Worst thing about the film industry?

The way women over 45 are represented. I’m part of a campaign called Acting Your Age which is really taking off; the hashtag is #dontcastherout. There’s much more parity for younger female actors now in terms of what they play, but there’s still a precipice women reach at about 40, certainly 45. Parts for women become clichéd, two-dimensional, and often just support the more complex or interesting main man. In supporting roles such as a lovely granny or a terrible mother, they don’t carry the narrative. Women out there are not seeing roles played that they can identify with.

Juliet Stevenson stars in ‘The Doctor’ at the Duke of York’s Theatre, London, from Sept 29 until Dec 11; thedukeofyorks.com