Pilgrimage, review: this batch of faith-finding celebs were nice – but where was the interrogation?

So far, Pilgrimage (BBC Two) has sent mismatched bands of celebrities on the long road to religious enlightenment in Santiago, Rome and Istanbul. Now it’s back, and this time their spiritual path is rather more familiar, leading them through Ireland, Northern Ireland and Scotland – pegged to the sixth-century monk St Columba.

Cue the oh-so-British chat about inclement weather while peering out stoically from beneath the hoods of sensible macs. Well, all except for Changing Rooms design guru Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, who modelled a specially designed rain-proof suit. Although if his silk scarf also survives 15 days of incessant drizzle, that really will be a miracle.

Llewelyn-Bowen is one of the questioners of the pack. He roughly identifies as Pagan, and doesn’t believe there’s one supreme being. But he’s genuinely curious about his fellow pilgrims’ faiths. As is Nick Hewer, who can quote Thomas Aquinas with aplomb, but whose time in a strict Jesuit boarding school left him agnostic. However, now an age at which such theoretical questions might become more urgent, he is, he proclaimed, “a soul for sale”, as if making a pitch on The Apprentice. “You can have four wives in my religion,” offered Muslim comedian Shazia Mirza.

Like all reality shows, it’s the hotch-potch of celebrities that makes for entertaining viewing, although Pilgrimage nudges them towards harmony, not hair-pulling acrimony. But we did get tears twice in this opener: Jewish actress Louisa Clein, daughter of a Holocaust survivor, felt isolated when they attended a Catholic mass, while Gogglebox’s Scarlett Moffatt – the star of the first instalment – became upset when the others joked about Christian artefact the Stone of Sorrows.

Interestingly it’s Moffatt, the youngest of the group, who has the most ardent conviction. She wears a cross from her visit to Jerusalem and says her Christianity got her through dark times – although she also describes God as “a big man with a beard in the sky controlling everything, like the ultimate Sims game”. Still, it’s interesting to hear a millennial confessing that she struggles to talk about religion, fearing there’s a stigma attached.

Certainly, Pilgrimage is unusual in the contemporary TV landscape, and we do get some fascinating personal revelations here. Monty Panesar thinks he has the ultimate proof of faith: after recommitting to Sikhism and learning to be one with the ball, his cricket career was suddenly reborn. Howzat? Meanwhile, Mirza has rebelled against her traditional Pakistani family in most ways, but still believes wholeheartedly in Allah.

The programme did touch briefly on religious conflict during a trip to Derry (Columba is the city’s patron saint, celebrated by both Catholics and Protestants). But it’s a rare instance, and viewers might find Pilgrimage’s studied politeness rather grating. Where is the concern over the rise of antisemitism? Or the crisis of Christianity in the UK? The results of the 2021 census, due this summer, are expected to show it becoming a minority religion, with fewer than 50 per cent ticking that box – down from 71 per cent in 2001.

Yet the biggest interrogation on Pilgrimage was reserved for the phone app that wrongly steers them to someone’s house. Who among us hasn’t had a crisis of faith with the satnav? It’s not the most riveting show visually either. We’re essentially stuck watching someone else’s damp hike – although the celebrities’ suffering is assuaged by guzzling wine in a smart inn. I doubt the addition of a much-trailed mystery sportsman in the next episode will help.

I was also left feeling distinctly unenlightened about St Columba. The big takeaway so far is that he was redheaded with a personality to match – a fire sadly missing from this well-intentioned trek.