Countdown, review: Anne Robinson clips her claws as she takes over as host
Adopt the brace position: Anne Robinson is presenting Countdown (Channel 4). Will the contestants get out alive? Here comes the first, a chap called Steve. “You’re from Manchester, you’re an accountant – is that as exciting as it sounds?” drawls Anne. “It has its moments,” ventures Steve, bravely. “Does it?” says Anne, which is not so much a question as a fatal wounding.
Next up is Shelley, a sweet lady from Newcastle who looks as if she’s considering making a bolt for the emergency exit. “Are you nervous?” Anne asks. Shelley confirms that, yes, she is. It’s like a scene in a wildlife documentary where you know the crocodile is about to loom out of the watering hole and devour an impala. But hang on, what’s this? “That’s two of us,” says Anne, kindly. And: “Oh, I love Newcastle. So beautiful, the countryside out there.” And that’s it. No insults, no cutting remarks. She doesn’t even make a dig at students when Shelley says she worked as a university administrator. It was a far cry from her famously acidic role on The Weakest Link, which is due to be revived with Romesh Ranganathan as the host.
Robinson is one of television’s savviest operators, and she knows that Countdown viewers don’t want bloodshed. They require a genial host who will keep them entertained but won’t prove too much of a distraction from the quiz itself. Richard Whiteley, Des Lynam, Des O’Connor, Jeff Stelling and Nick Hewer – different styles, but all with a twinkle. The format of the show has remained the same since its first broadcast in 1982, although having a new presenter every once in a while does add a bit of pep to proceedings.
Robinson has always done a nice line in self-deprecation, and here she poked fun at her Eighties hairstyle, as featured in an archive clip of her appearing on the show with Whiteley (“very Bay City Rollers”), and telling numbers whizz Rachel Riley: “I reckon you were one year old when that was on.” The vibe was very sisterly, with Robinson bathing Riley and Susie Dent in praise.
At times, you wondered if she was biting her tongue, or had necked a couple of Valium before coming on set. When she invited guest Rory Bremner to do a Liverpool accent, and he did what could best be described as a middling job, she simply said: “Thank you, Rory.” When Shelley got her maths wrong, Robinson delivered an: “Oh dear,” and moved on. Even when Steve came up with the word “flasher” – nothing. The Queen of Mean is dead. Long live Anne, the Queen of Countdown.
