Ronan Keating says period following brother's death has been the 'hardest time': What is the grief lull?

Ronan Keating has thanked fans for supporting him through his grief following the death of his brother. (Getty Images)
Ronan Keating has thanked fans for supporting him through his grief following the death of his brother. (Getty Images)

Ronan Keating has shared a touching message about grief following the death of his brother, revealing it has been "the hardest time" for his family.

The Boyzone star’s older brother Ciaran Keating, 57, was killed in a car accident last month, with his funeral taking place at the end of July.

Sharing a collection of images of his family in South Africa to Instagram, the singer, 46, thanked fans for "the love and respect you have shown my family over the last 5 weeks".

"It has been the hardest time for us all, and everyone is trying to manage a life now without our brother (very hard to even type that)," he wrote.

"Thank you for all your messages of support and also respecting our privacy during this time."

The singer and presenter added that he had been taking time to "heal" and credited his youngest children, Cooper and Coco for helping the family through the heartbreak.

"Back to work for me in another part of the world I love now…it all seems rather difficult to make sense of but trying my best," he continued.

Watch: Ronan Keating performs musical tribute at brother’s funeral

What is the grief lull?

In his post Ronan Keating discussed the fact that he will soon be returning to work. For some getting back to every day life after the loss of a loved one can offer respite from the emotional toll, for others, however, the time after a funeral can be a challenging period of the grief process.

The grief lull, or grief hangover, refers to the period following the funeral of a loved one, when the busy-ness of arrangements, well-wishers and support of friends and family suddenly abates to leave the person grieving alone with their feelings.

While the planning of a funeral can provide structure and comfort during an extremely difficult time, when it has wrapped, many of us are left feeling lost and unsure about what to do with our grief.

"After the funeral is over, when it all goes quiet and the people around you get on with their own lives, you may feel as if you are left with an emptiness - a grief-filled void reminding you of what you have lost," explains Dipti Tait, therapist and author of Planet Grief.

Read more: The truth about sex, love and dating after being widowed (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)

The period after a funeral can be a challenging time in the grief process. (Getty Images)
The period after a funeral can be a challenging time in the grief process. (Getty Images)

Thankfully, there are some ways to navigate this tricky timeframe in the grief process.

How to manage the grief lull

Remember there's no right way to grieve

Friends and family might decide that the period after the funeral is the right time to begin to get over your grief, but the healing process can't be rushed.

"There are no right or wrong things to do here," explains Tait. "Whatever you are feeling is okay. Whatever you choose to do, it has to be something that you feel you need.

"Everyone is so uniquely different with their own personalised needs and preferences, but usually the grief lull is the same."

Read more: Should we be scheduling our grief like Shiv from Succession? (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)

Find your grief aid

Tait says what might work in terms of helping you cope could depend on your personality type.

"If you are a private person, your grief can also be a private affair," she explains. "This period can be useful for you to journal, paint, draw, write, meditate, read, go on walks, activities that are quieter and help you reflect and contemplate."

However, if you are naturally a person who likes being around people, Tait suggests reaching out to others.

"You could even be with others, but be doing your own thing - such as signing up for a group activity," she continues.

"This way, you won’t feel so alone, and you will have the choice to be with others."

Find a grief circle

Tait suggests trying to connect with people who are in a similar situation.

"Perhaps book yourself on a grief retreat, or start working with a grief therapist, or begin learning something new, to get your mind re-engaged and interested in something different," she says.

Experts suggest finding what works for you to navigate the grief lull. (Getty Images)
Experts suggest finding what works for you to navigate the grief lull. (Getty Images)

Read more: Why running is good for grief (Yahoo Life UK 5-min read)

Introduce some structure

Structure can be useful during the grief lull period.

"Use this time by getting some structures in place, such as starting a new class, or even buddying up with a friend to do a challenge," she says.

Stay connected

Funerals offer an opportunity to bring us together with friends and family we may have drifted away from during our busy every day lives, giving us a reminder about how important those relationships can be.

And it can be helpful to keep up those rekindled connections in the coming weeks by reaching out to seek or offer support in the wake of your shared grief.

Seek help

If you're still struggling to navigate the grief lull, counselling and support groups can help you cope.

Visit The Grief Trust to find support near you.

Organisations such as CRUSE and ataloss.org also have advice centres that can help provide support if you need it.

If you need someone to talk to about grief the Samaritans are always there to help and listen. Call 116 123 free, 24/7.