Online dating tips: how to get your profile noticed
Online dating can inspire a whole host of emotions, from trepidation to excitement. Once you’ve signed up it’s easy to become impatient and want to start messaging people immediately - but it’s essential you put time into crafting your profile first, whether you're in your 20s or dating as an older woman.
Having a space that represents what you’re really like, as well as what you’re looking for in a partner, makes finding love online much more likely. We asked Kate Taylor, Match.com’s dating expert, for her top tips on how to make your profile stand out from the crowd.
Focus on the photos
If you’re going to spend time on anything, says Kate, make it the images. “If you devote a weekend to creating a profile, spend most of it getting your friends to take photos of you and only 20 minutes to half an hour writing the words.
“People are so visual - plus, the ‘about me’ section will be more chatty and likely to sound like you if you don’t spend hours crafting it.”
How to write about yourself
“This is your chance to speak to someone for the first time,” says Kate, “So write it how you would normally speak. Keep your tone light and upbeat - and read it out loud to see if it flows.”
There’s no need to use your profile to say absolutely everything about yourself. Basic life markings - like your age and whether or not you have children - should be correct, but you don’t have to mention anything you wouldn’t talk about on the first date.
Kate adds: “I met my husband online and my profile was really short. I listed some good points and bad points; one of the good was my long red hair, and then as a bad point I admitted that I’m too scared to drive on the motorway. And it worked - men began messaging me saying they’d give me a training lesson.”
When mentioning your interests, put a companionable spin on them. “Leave the door open for someone to imagine themselves going out on a date with you,” suggests Kate. “If you’re a film buff, say you love going to the cinema and talk about your favourite films, not that you stay at home on a Sunday and binge-watch Netflix.
“You’re advertising yourself as a potential partner, not a singleton. Don’t make it seem like your life is complete now or that you’re so busy nobody could become a part of it.”
Last-minute checks
Before pressing ‘publish’, Kate recommends asking a platonic friend of the sex you’re trying to attract to check your profile. “They should look for things that would put them off, like spelling mistakes, photos that don’t show you in the best light, or anything too negative.
“Saying something like ‘I have no hopes for this but thought I’d give it a whirl’ just alienates your audience, who are obviously online daters themselves.
“They should also look for any mentions of your ex - just referencing them is putting another person into the situation who shouldn’t be there - and make sure you haven’t included any contact details.”
Don’t let your profile go stale
Once you’ve uploaded your profile, don’t just let it sit there, says Kate. “Some people create a really good profile and then think it’s set in stone or that going back to it suggests they have too much time on their hands.”
But adding seasonal updates - like changing photos, talking about the weather, saying a certain picture was taken last week - gives people a better, more accurate idea of what your life is like.
So no matter how long your profile’s been up there - from minutes to months - click that ‘edit’ button and make sure it represents how you really talk, look, and spend your time.
And if you're not even sure which of the many sites out there - from Match.com to eHarmony to our own Telegraph Dating - is best for you, take a look at our guide to the best dating sites.
