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The Real Marigold Hotel, series 3 episode 1 review: there's a gaping chasm in the show's premise – but enjoyable nonetheless

The Krankies were easily the most entertaining on The Real Marigold Hotel - WARNING: Use of this copyright image is subject to the terms of use of BBC Pictures' Digital Picture
The Krankies were easily the most entertaining on The Real Marigold Hotel - WARNING: Use of this copyright image is subject to the terms of use of BBC Pictures' Digital Picture

The fundamental flaw of The Real Marigold Hotel, a show in which nine aged luminaries see whether they like India enough to retire there, is that it is quite obvious that not one of those nine aged luminaries has any intention of doing such a thing. Last night’s instalment, the first episode of the show’s third series, was like a Grand Designs episode in which they’re simply making a show home, or a Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? in which nobody wants to be a millionaire.

Can you imagine the ultra-sociable Stanley Johnson quitting the UK to move to Udaipur? That’s where the group has been sent: a northern Indian city possessed of dazzling palaces and beautiful lakes, yes, but with dollops of squalor and clamour. Johnson stumped gamely and affably around the city, like a polar bear taking unexpectedly well to being transferred to a zoo in the tropics, but his post is unlikely to require permanent redirection. And then there was Bob Champion, the legendary jockey who up till now had never had a curry in his life. Before the episode was out, he and his fellow travellers were tucking into a very off-brand roast dinner.

Still, once you’ve angled your critical faculties around the gaping chasm in the programme’s premise, it becomes an enjoyable and skilfully constructed travelogue-cum-reality show. Lush shots of Udaipur alternated with the group’s winning forays into culturally adventurous activities such as yoga, staying in an ashram, and, um, playing polo. Champion was back on the horse.

Where the show differs from other reality TV, and where it derives its fundamental strength, is the age of its cast. Reality TV, at least in its most prominent forms, tends to principally involve young people, who, being lustful for fame and and lustful in general, make entertaining but predictable protagonists. In The Real Marigold Hotel, however, the participants are old and wise enough to know how to get on well with each other, meaning that the drama is often internal. Take Selina Scott’s incipient struggle with spending so much time in other people’s company (real group holiday vibes there), or the way that Stephanie Beacham, the Dynasty actress, whinged at various points without falling out with anyone.

Stanley Johnson is, apparently, considering relocating to India - Credit: BBC
Stanley Johnson is, apparently, considering relocating to India Credit: BBC

Beacham went on to have a sweet little moment of self-finding in the ashram, and seemed, like her colleagues, to be well-chosen for the show. Of the rest, Ian and Jeanette Tough, better known as the Krankies, were easily the most entertaining, mock-squabbling in their room and striking up joshing rapports with their co-stars.

Based on this opener, the rest of the series is unlikely to yield furious arguments or sizzling trysts. But there’s no need to check out just yet.